Sympathy on Loss of Father
A REMINDER AND FAREWELL TO A FRIEND WHO SHOWED HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE
Name: YONG WEY-LOEN
- Born Singapore: Bukit Panjang
- Family: one brother
- Educated: Singapore and University London UK
- Primary Work: security consultant.
- Security, personal, private and national
- Hobbies: Reading, Dancing Bachata/ Kizomba, toastmaster speaker, entrepreneurial activities, family
Singaporeans are conscripted to serve a period in the arm forces
Leon, learned the trade of a soldier from an early age, and this laid the grounding for his military future life, he turned out to be pretty good at it.
His unique persuasive style in communication later became his outstanding skill set, always placing him in team leader roles, to defuse, gather and mentor teams and soldiers who respected his decision-making, knowledge and confidence in tough demanding dangerous situations, his credibility was profound,
As a foreigner to China and Born in a family of 2 sons Leon was the youngest brother.
UK Extended Studies
Studying in UK helped him to develop a broader aspect of his view of the world and its deficiencies, policies, problems,
He once told me UK was an experience he held close to his heart, and on one occasion jokingly stated, he was with group of military friends when one questioned him
”Leon is it true that all Asians have small penises”,
He calmly responded: ”until I came along and broke the mould”
UK to Leon
Was a place of gentleman, kind and caring attitudes, he revelled in this viewpoint and in many ways imitated it with his flamboyance and wearing clothing that reflected and represented a gentleman, an educated one with style. He believed that to be a gentleman you needed to dress like one and behaved like one.
I Met Leon
In 2018, I was asked to offer a toastmaster speech on Entrepreneurship, Preparing and ready to go the stage was set. Leon was engaged with another conversation relating to his business and problems therein.
After my stand up talk, Leon and I ended up discussing the workings of his business model and why he was not achieving suddenly, my honest opinion was that the business was played out and had no further mileage, it was time to move on to new and better things.
He thought hard about this, still defending the company’s failure was not entirely his fault sincerely believing his work rate and passion to find a resolve using every possible avenue was implemented, yet without a satisfactory outcome
Finally, we parted and arranged to continue discussions at a more convenient time in the future. Exchanging Wechat contact, we went our own way with a strong handshake I remember that clearly.
Days later while in the English corner Group Wechat we connected on a topic that raised strong arguments about Chinese unsociable attitudes in public places, metro, streets, restaurants and abroad.
Loudness, nose picking, spitting, and pushing in queues
I was ”in for a penny in for a pound” in this one, I had to voice my opinion as a traveler to china over 10 years, which cause a stir with one particular lady, she had a strong Political and Patriotic mindset, unwavering, non movable, stayed and even obsessed in the manner of her response, not only to my questions and statements but to a few other group members that showed any affiliation with what I was presenting in the group
Leon the Saviour intellect!
In comes Leon, calm, balanced, unbiased, fair and understanding of the points on both side, breaking it down to differences in cultures and that in reverse the lady in discussion may very well find it just as strange abroad with habits she encountered, there was no right or wrong it was simply my opinion of what i saw, He defused her feverish outburst and defensive denial of the truth in the chat room like a politician.
Later Private Wechat
Leon wrote me about the fracas and explained that this was a woman set on being awkward and ignorant, seemably uneducated too, so it was pointless to pursue this line of discussion
I regarded this as good ”inside” advice, though i told him it was an interesting topic and fun!
As an expressive and ”stickler on facts” speaker Leon commanded attention, and on one occasion He was in his glory also his professional field of expertise as a soldier.
Giving a Broad Story about his stints in Turkey, Africa, Iran, Iraq uprising, what difficulties he and his party of men faced and how they overcame tough choices faced in life threatening situations.
He Enthralled the audience, finishing up with presentation and display of hardware and how to utilize them in uprising or military environment. The audience rose with a tumultuous applause at the end.
I Never forgot the Look
That grin of accomplishment and satisfaction appeared on his face.
Leon Business Demise
It was never clear to me what he did but Leon had what seems to be an electronics company that provided specialist equipment. It had hit a difficult period and set not to reclaim its former glory. This was a Dying business and he knew it, he just felt it hard to accept, though money was disappearing day by day he held strong, Yet foolishly to a dream. Accepting finally as the income level could not be sustained, he finally moved on reluctantly.
Leon New Start
This was one of difficulty beyond all comprehension, nothing he did seem to work, At Interviews he was accepted on numerous occasion with good companies, however when the recruitment was to proceed, it failed miserably, with delays, excuse, and change of management and or shift of priorities in plans.
This floored Leon, and hit him many times it was the ”blow of all blows” to Leon, who was aware of his capacity and abilities, he believed he would fit in anywhere, he had the mindset the attitude, sensibilities, business acumen, organized and powerful communication skills, so why was it not happening?
Social Private Meet and Chat
Many a time we meet as I could feel in his mood he needed someone to ”chew the fat” a support, new ideas, even just listen as a channel for his frustrations .
- Meeting him the first time some days later, he looked smart and still fire in his eyes.
- The following meet a week later on, what I saw was another Guy, there was a marked change in his whole manner, positivity, his outlook and posture.
He smoked vigorously, furtive eyes and reduction in personal esteem. Constantly deliberating his situation and the outcome he recently encountered.
I was There… but I was not really to him. He was fraught with worry and shook, at one point tears rose uncontrollable in his eyes that embarrassed both him and me, I felt for his situation too.
Reaching out to his shoulder to empathize, to remind him ”Buddy I am here” and calmed him, trying to inject positive options that were still available to him and his special skills.
Leon Gathered himself with as much strength as he could, we stood, hugged for some time and parted like brothers, this Moved me as it clearly did him.
Some semblance or himself appeared as he collected his thoughts and we walked out the door.
Invitation to Diner and Family
Leon a few days later he offered me to visit the family, I did, It was an honor and i was super happy he offered, If I could to raise his mood and situation in the process, would be worth the visit. He meet me with the family at a restaurant near his home, nice place and chosen to offer a good impression I felt.
All Introductions were completed I ended up having his son playing with me as we waited for our orders.
I Could See Leon was a tentative father, considering what’s been going on recently and his mind lately he held it together and promoted his wife and child telling his son I was uncle Chris, it made me feel very special too.
Leon Wife and Son
Li suli and Kang Were not pretentious just a mum and kid, her English was basic as was son, I applied all the Chinese I knew, it was a good atmosphere all the same.
Trying to pay for dinner he refused and we struck an agreement of [AA] 50/50, Several hours later, we hugged parted and went our ways.
On the following weekend, Leon called me wanted to have an important discussion he said. I Agreed and met as arranged.
He Looked worse than the last time, white as a sheet, dark rings around his eyes, fidgety and displaying a more subdued, yet brasher approach in his demeanor, Instantly I felt something bad had happen or about to happen.
He Struggled for the first time ever to express himself with his question to me, this I never expected, but I knew there and then, he had some dire problems, it was written all over his face.
Charlie my friend accompanied me, so I introduced her briefly and engaged in what he wanted to tell me, not thinking maybe I should have made it more private,
Anyway, before I could decide to let Charlie take a walk, Leon blurted out and went straight to his problem situation.
He was in financial dilemma,banks wanted payments, and finance was at an all time low, providing for the family was a total blow out.
He asked if I could help in this financial matter,
It was not easy for him do this, and it took courage to ask me as a good friend
Instantly I consider my Finances and told him it was possible, but I needed to confirm with my Chinese business partner in the UK.
He looked relieved but still tension was there.
The Next Day
I deliver my news that I couldn’t craft out funds until 2 months later, being that it was not available currently.
His face fell and trying to show a brave face he replied ”I don’t know if I can hold off the banks for another week” but do what you can Chris I understand.
This cut deep and I felt I just let a friend in great need down, he needed $50,000, I just didn’t have the fluidity to hand for some months.
The checking my finances again, the following we connected, I could not change the situation as I had no other means to find 50k until a few months later, was the best I really could manage
We kept in contact briefly, then nothing for a week, Months went by and no response on WeChat or his phone.
This was disconcerting to me, it was not like him at all.
One day I received a message on WeChat, he had received a placement in a British personal security company in Shanghai, they apparently were waiting for verification and the go ahead to recruit from UK side. I was elated for him and his photo was changed on WeChat to a smiling one this time?
Out of China to Turkey
Leon was given a task to look after some imminent individual with a team of guys.
He was back in his jungle and seemed happy again, in a job [ though I voiced my opinion it was a bad move and he had a family to consider, but debt and raising some money was the driving force in this case]
We from time to time engaged in short chat from various locations he was posted, even in transit with in flight photos
He looked better, happier, yet as time passed he said on one chat that it was a solitary lifestyle, though good living quarters and food, flight paid and good daily pay, he was not as positive in my estimation, a change was occurring.
Social and Interactive
Leon is a social and very active person, loves dancing Latin and travelled to many places to get involved, is actively a member of dance venues and hosted many.
This I believe was what was affecting him, he was being disconnected, singular! The reverse of his personality and character was being strangled, controlled
On the 20/09/2020
I was reviewing some photos in my collection and came across his, it galvanized me to contact him immediately.
On doing so via WeChat I was responded to by his wife, apologizing that her news would not be a good one, that he had in fact died in an accident in June 2020?
I was blown away with this news, it took a whole 5 mins to respond back
Collecting myself I paced up and down the apartment trying to offer my sympathies and so forth, I didn’t want to push what happened as she didn’t offer, perhaps it was too painful to express today.
She held respect for his attention and application to the family, work ethics and their son’s relationship with father!
I inquired if Little Kang was aware of the situation, she responded ”he was too young to be told”, the time will come to do that later, but as far as he understood his father was on business abroad.
Me and Leon had a connection, perhaps due to the fact we shared Military background past and present, there was a certain kinship and we agreed that there was an intrinsic link, we shared very similar ethics, views, principles and ideals, I valued this friendship, his candour, openness, realistic views, intelligence and calm influence in all that he did.
He once told me that it doesn’t matter what you have in qualification and skill, the big wigs and money driven companies only see what is in their best interest, and they will, choose the cheapest or unofficial ways to get what they want, no matter the Collateral or long term Effect. It’s become a ”now” modern society and world, The future can take care of itself… attitude!.
My sympathy goes out to a young son Kang who was the apple in his father eyes Leon, not to know him as you grow or share the experiences you find is a great loss, but you will remember the good times you shared with him in laughter
Father and Mothers
Show your Father/ Mother they are important, remind ourselves that we are fortunate to have One or a Complete family
Ones That love us ==>>> Valued and Lucky see below>>>
Farewell my Good friend, we will meet again some time in the future!